richards odes

Bridge

Bridge is just a game of cards, which ought to be good fun!

If you think that you must be mad! That’s not the way it’s done!

It’s more of a religion with a special liturgy.

If you join a bridge club you’ll very quickly see.

You need to know your Blackwood, your Culbertson and all

Let alone your Acol or a simple Stayman call!

There are many ways that you can get into trouble

Woe betide you if your bid’s resulting in a double!

Ok you cannot help it if you are dealt a Yarborough,

Though you may wish that you were on a holiday in Scarborough!

In some bridge clubs you cannot speak not even when you bid

In silence you must respond to what your partner did!

Even when the bidding’s done you are meant to know

Just what card you ought to lead – the bidding told you so!

If you cannot understand what the bidding means

You’ll end up in a mad house behind some plastic screens!

You may have thought post mortems were for those already dead

But you’ll be told quite firmly what you should have played instead!

If you cannot cope with this don’t fall into the trap

You’d probably be better off if you had stuck to Snap!