Confidence?

You may think me brash and confident when you see me speak

You do not know my nightmare, that my voice could be a squeak!

You do not see the trembling as I approach a stage

Or the moisture in my eyes that blurs my scripted page.

You do not hear the heartbeat that seems to fill my ears

Or the voice that tells me to give in to my fears.

You cannot feel the solid lump that rises in my throat

Or the sinking feeling that tells me I can’t float!

You don’t know my expectation that I will fall apart

And that people will just ridicule what I consider art.

I mock my grave pretensions to some poetic skill

Yet in my heart I know I wish that some may like it still!

You ask me why I put myself through all this angst and pain

When every time I know that I might fall apart again?

I suppose, if I am honest, it’s approval that I crave

But oh how much I wish that I was really, really brave!

So if you see me standing there so confident and brash

Spare a thought for one who thinks they’re heading for a crash!

Petronelle 

She was a little lady with a soul just full of song 

And Face to Face with Jesus she would surely get along!

She played on the piano with gusto and with skill

And if you heard her playing you will recall it still!

She passed her love of music on to those of yesteryear

Teaching them Recorder, well, those who had the ear!

My kids abiding memories of their first years in church

We're of that little lady who'd not leave you in the lurch.

Her knowledge of church music and hymns both new and old

Was encyclopaedic, or at least that's what I'm told!

She played for many services, leading choirs as well

And if she disagreed with you was not afraid to tell!

You could be the Rector or a bishop with a staff

You would approach  'P' cautiously with a nervous laugh!

She had her opinions and was prepared to fight

And she would have the evidence to prove that she was right!

Her spirit was unquenchable driven by her love

She was forever trusting in our Lord above.

Missed with real affection in her fading years

We do not mourn her passing with very many tears.

She's now with the Master she's followed all her days

And she will spend her future singing out His praise.