Washing

Hanging out the washing on a very blustery day 

I am very wary in case it blows away!

I do my best to peg it up so very tight

But I know a gust of wind has a lot of might!

It just might go flying up into the air

I might find my washing spread just anywhere!

The rotary line is whirling at enormous speed

Going any faster it might take off, indeed! 

It will dry quite quickly while it’s on the line.

If I’ve securely pegged it, it should be just fine!

I hope!

My Grandson

I have had a lovely day

I watched my grandson at his play.

He’s got a smile t’would melt your heart

As he breaks his toys apart!

Eight months old and full of fun

His mummy’s headache’s just begun.

He wants to play with everything 

And then discards it with a fling!

He can’t yet walk but he will soon

(That will be an added boon!)

He wants to go for all he sees,

Swiftly, on his hands and knees.

He’s quite determined you can tell

Though he doesn’t scream and yell.

When lockdown’s over I just might

Go and hug him nice and tight!

But for now I’ll have to wait

And just curse my cruel fate!

Vacuuming 

Though it’s very hot today 

The rotten dust won’t go away!

Up and down the vacuum goes

The sweat is dripping off my nose!

I know that I have never said

We need a cleaner or a maid!

Ah well! I’ll just get on with it

I must do my little bit!

I’ve been lazy all my life

I need some prodding from my wife!

She does more than her fair share

While I usually sit and stare!

“Yes, my love, it’s nearly done.

Now can we have a little fun!”

Lemmings

Lemmings are well known for their mindless onward rush

Just like those in Bournemouth joining in the crush!

Like a load of lemmings they hurtle towards the sea

No thoughts of social distance, as there ought to be!

What about the rubbish that they left behind?

Thirty tons of detritus really blows the mind!

What sort of mindless people can react this way

To easing of the lockdown? Perhaps it ought to stay!

Ok, it was very hot, but to react like this?

Behaving here like morons! Do they think it bliss?

A stain upon our nation, its fortitude and wit.

How can we condone it? Not a tiny bit!

Calisthenics

I love taking exercise, normally in sports.

In golf,or table tennis or games of many sorts.

I exercise my muscle groups just in what I play

Not in callisthenics or any other way

I cannot move to music. I cannot even dance.

My total lack of rhythm won’t give me a chance.

I have short bursts of energy. That is how I work!

If it needs endurance, that is when I shirk!

You can keep your jogging, pilates and the rest,

For just playing lots of sport is what suits me best!

Waddesdon 

We’d booked a trip to Waddesdon for 10 o’clock am

We were looking forward to seeing this true gem.

The car park is near the entrance at the bottom of a hill

As the house is miles away this is a bitter pill!

It is very hot today and we had to walk.

As we had the hill to climb there couldn’t be much talk!

Mostly in the open with the sun just beating down,

If there were any water near, you might prefer to drown!

The building when you get there is in the chateau style

In a wondrous setting for mile on rolling mile.

The gardens are spectacular at any time of year

But in between the seasons not all the flowers are here!

Still in formal beauty there is enough to see

With statues overlooking in silent dignity.

After taking in your fill of landscaped gardening

You can sip a coffee designed to make you sing.

When you are refreshed enough you wend your weary way

Back down to the car park where you end your stay.

You may be tired and sweaty, and much like a grease spot

But you have enjoyed your visit to this beauty spot.

Holidays 

It used to be with holidays you booked them right away

After you’d decided where you want to stay.

Now there’s all the hassle of will the rules allow!

Or will this ruddy virus take a final bow?

Will you get your money back if anything goes wrong?

Or will you just be left to sing a very sorry song?

Is it worth the effort or should it just be left?

But without a holiday we would be bereft!

I can’t make my mind up, what am I to do?

I think I’ll go bonkers before this month is through!

Father’s Day 

My father died when I was five so memories are few

But all of them are happy with what he used to do

He folded up his hanky while I was on his knee.

Then it became a mouse, as far as I could see!

He put it on his forearm and stroked it once or twice

Then it jumped right off his arm, which I thought was nice!

It seemed to me like magic as he caught it in his hand

And then he made it jump again at my shrill demand!

He made a tiny cricket bat from a bit of wood

That I would be a cricketer was fully understood!

Our lives are full of memories be they good or bad.

What will my kids remember when they think of “dad”?

Will they see the love I felt from the day we met?

Of comfort I would try to give when they were upset?

Of my singing loudly the songs learned in my youth?

Or of the embarrassment that they felt in truth?

I can’t do much about it now, but I did my best

I am but a father, just like all the rest!

Golden Wedding 

You’ve been together fifty years

You and your bonny bride.

You have had your joy and tears

And can look back with pride!

You can thank your God above 

For making you a pair. 

You have had the gift of love

And life’s been really fair!

You have raised your family, 

For which you can be proud.

You’re happy as the world can see

You singing right out loud.

Although your party’s put on hold

We all wish you the best

And know you always will be bold

Until you find your rest.

So raise a glass to John and Sue

That they may happy be

For that’s what we all want for you

This Anniversary.

Trepidation 

As we’re easing lockdown, we all need to take care.

You can catch the virus almost anywhere.

Some will step out boldly without any fear

They won’t even bother about people getting near!

Then there are the careful folk who follow all the rules

They look on any others as very careless fools!

Some look on the whole affair with great hesitation

Who’ll be leaving lockdown in fear and trepidation!

Let us all be careful with everything we do

Look after each other and we’ll all get through!

Good News

I have had good news today.

I thought I’d let you know.

I had felt the need to pray

For I was feeling low.

A relative had cancer 

And it appeared aggressive 

Prayer must be the answer.

It’s really quite impressive!

A second scan was taken

And the cancer has not spread

We are not forsaken

We praise the Lord instead!

He can now be treated.

It can be controlled!

Good news can be greeted

And I am consoled!

Breakthrough 

We are told a medication can help fight the virus. 

We can now do slightly more than sit around and cuss!

At this auspicious moment we can breathe a sigh

And hope they make a vaccine to stop it by and by!

Well done to the pharmacists and those who trialled it

We will get this Covid beat bit by little bit.

We should all be cautious. This virus still can kill.

We must all remember it’s not a cure all pill.

So please keep your distance. I won’t be offended.

We can hug and cuddle when this thing has ended!

Litter

When I walk around the lake I cherish what I see

All the joys of nature displaying just for me!

The luscious verdant pasture on which to feast my eye

Varieties of water fowl that drift so gently by.

The beauty of the wild flowers with colours so diverse

And then I see the litter, which makes the vista worse!

What sort of low life animals can leave a beauty spot

With bottles glass and plastics, which will never rot?

Did their mums not tell them to clear up all their mess?

By this mass of litter, they did not, I would guess! 

You can have a picnic and have lots of fun

But take the rubbish with you whenever you are done!

ReplyForward

Impatience 

I am quite impatient. I do not like to wait.

If I can just zip along I am feeling great!

On a golf course I’m held up with regularity

Even though I like to play with some alacrity.

It puts me quite on edge so my next shot is missed

And the more it happens, the more I’m getting pissed.

I know it doesn’t matter we do not need to hurry

But the ruddy waiting makes me start to worry.

Will I miss my next shot like the one before?

And when then I miss I’m enraged right to my core!

A little bit of patience and the art of slowing down 

Would save me so much aggro that I would lose my frown!

Who do I think I’m kidding? I don’t improve with age!

I admit the slightest thing can instigate a rage!

I wish they’d get a move on not slow me down like this

Moving on with no delays is my idea of bliss!

ReplyForward

Normal

Getting back to “normal” whatever that may mean

Does not mean the virus isn’t there unseen!

Shops may now be opened with people back at work

But that is no excuse for acting like a jerk!

The virus is not beaten, it can still attack

Those with pre-conditions, they can not go back!

They still need protection. Distance rules apply.

So just keep your distance with no need to question”why”.

Some will still be stuck at home and will still need aid.

And they still will need us until a vaccine’s made.

Enjoy your extra freedom but remain apart

Please listen to this plea, which comes right from my heart.

Furzton Bird Life

Walking in the linear park or right around the lake

Living here in Furzton is surely no mistake!

The green of rolling parkland the grandeur of the trees

Provide us with a landscape, which is designed to please

The beauty of the little stream, the ripples on the mere

Fill my heart with gratitude that I am living here.

The parks my children played in have all gone to decay

But maybe modern children have different ways to play!

The bird life we encounter is as varied as can be

With geese and ducks and herons, and swans as big as me!

The moor hens and the coots are there, plumage black as coal

Adding more excitement to our gentle lakeside stroll.

Grebes stay under water for what seems like hours

And we saw an egret in sheltered streamside bowers!

The pigeons and the crows are there and sometimes a kite

Circling high above us. It is a wondrous sight!

The ducklings and the goslings, and the cygnets too

Swimming with their parents as all good children do!

It is good to be alive to savour all this beauty

And praising God for all of it is a gladsome duty!

Success

Today had started badly and I was quite depressed 

Everything was rotten since I was getting dressed.

Suddenly just after lunch things started going right

And I had the feeling that I would see the light.

I got the car fob batteries without any trouble

And when I had fitted them I was in my bubble!

Then I got some hinges for my cupboard door

They were not the same as the ones I had before!

Then I was frustrated by this major tribulation 

But I overcame it with some good manipulation!

The door is now restored to the way it ought to be

And I end up really proud of clever little me!

Ok I exaggerate, but out of lots of mess

I ended up eventually with some nice success.

Weather 

Isn’t it terrific when you’ve got something planned

And then the flaming weather starts being underhand.

The weather’s been quite beautiful for the last few weeks

Now before the planned event the heavens spring some leaks!

Will it now be cancelled or certainly be changed

As the organiser you may become deranged!

Will the rain persist all day or will there be a break?

Whatever you decide in haste could be a mistake!

You leave it and you leave it till it’s getting late

And finally you let it go and leave it up to fate!

What’s the point of worrying when you can’t change it all?

You’ll just make the best of it whatever may befall

Hinges

We have had a cupboard for twenty years or more. 

It has two metal hinges holding up the door.

It is in the kitchen filled with plates and bowls

And just at the minute it tortures both our souls!

Suddenly the hinges will not fully close

And they are beginning to get right up my nose.

The door is sticking out 6 inches at the end

So I have attempted to try to make it mend!

I’ve tried all the adjustments and nothing seems to work

And I end up frustrated and feeling like a Berk.

I’ve even had the door off and fitted them again

But it made no difference. They really are a pain!

Throughout the fitted kitchen the doors are all the same

All the rest are working so I am not to blame!

No doubt replacement hinges, from 20 years or so,

Will be unavailable so where else can I go?

Now we use a rubber band to try to hold it shut

But I know my missus will shortly do her nut!

Friends part 3

Friends will not ignore your faults, they just don’t let them matter.

They will be honest with you. They have no need to flatter!

They’ll put you right when asked to, all for your own sake.

Hopefully they’ll stop you when you’re making a mistake!

They will smile indulgently when you repeat a story

Even though they’ve heard it because it’s old and hoary!

They’ll listen when you need them to with arm around your shoulder 

And they’ll be with you all the time until you’re feeling bolder.

Be thankful for the friends you’ve got for they are there for you

And if ever they’re in trouble you’ll be there for them too!

Friends

Friends are never perfect they can make mistakes.

A little inattention is usually what it takes!

A word that’s inappropriate or a forgotten date.

Take offence at nothing or turn up very late!

Friends will still forgive us when we do something wrong.

Think of all the reasons that we’ve always got along.

Of course they can upset us without meaning to.

That we also are not perfect is very, very true!

Part of being friends is that we will forgive each other

And accept the failings of our sister or our brother.

There’s no need for apologies or an accusing stare.

If ever you’re in trouble you know that they’ll be there!

Bad News

How to deal with bad news is difficult to tell. 

All you really want to do is stamp your feet and yell.

The first shock as it hits you leaves you on the floor 

 You really want to shut your ears and not hear any more.

Then you move to disbelief. This cannot be true!

How can such things happen to a mate who’s just like you?

You think there is no fairness in the way we go through life

Some have all the fortune while others live with strife.

You ask them if there’s any way to help with this or that

And you’ll be there to listen if they ever want to chat.

They are in your thoughts and prayers all the livelong day

Pleading for a miracle to take this curse away.

While all the time your heart is beating like a big base drum.

Lord give them the strength to cope with all that is to come.

Strawberries and Cream 

It’s a sign of summer when the strawberries come in

And to stuff them in your face is a deadly sin!

The taste of the fresh strawberries is really pretty good

And to denigrate it would be extremely rude!

However in the panoply of the world of taste

To gorge in isolation would really be a waste.

So smother them with well whipped cream

And then you’ll really have a dream.

Hugless

I want to hug my grandson but I know I can’t 

And if I moan about it, it is a selfish rant!

I see him on the video calls, so I can’t complain

But I’ve been ages hugless. I need it once again!

Even when we’ve met up social distancing applies 

He also wants a hug so there’s confusion in his eyes!

Yes, I know it’s sensible and I know I can’t 

But 

I want to hug my grandson and all I can do is rant!

Injustice 

I hate to see injustice rear its ugly head.

It is time that prejudice is finally put to bed.

We saw the peaceful protest in Washington DC

Met with brutal violence that shocked both you and me.

It brought to mind the Nazi’s and their use of the SS

To suppress opposition. That ended in a mess!

We can look at others with sanctimonious blame

But we should be careful that we are not the same!

The xenophobic rhetoric of some within our land

Leads to racist actions we all thought were banned.

Appeal to people’s prejudice to get yourself elected

Is not the sort of action that should be expected!

When good men do nothing, evil men will win.

To sit there apathetic is the greatest sin!

Self indulgence 

I just love eating chocolate 

I do it all the time.

My longing I can’t satiate

I feel it is sublime.

I know I should control it.

It’s very bad for me.

I should use a bit of wit

Or think how fat I’ll be!

I try to be abstemious 

But in a little while

Temptation is enormous

So I give in with a smile!

I know it’s self damnation. 

I promise I will stop

Until the next occasion 

I chance to pass a shop!

Picnic

We’re going to have a picnic with isolation rules.

We can’t be close together for we are not fools.

Everyone will bring their own cups and cutlery 

And the food they’re having as a snack for tea.

We’ve invited people that we haven’t seen for ages

All have been in lockdown in our house-like cages!

It will be so pleasant to chat and have some fun

I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone!

Running Late

Have you ever noticed that when you’re running late

Every light’s against you as if by cruel fate?

You’re stuck behind a learner with nowhere to overtake

Or else you take a turning and find it’s a mistake!

You get to a roundabout and seem to sit for hours

Because there are no spaces between the trucks and cars!

You finally get moving and think you’re past the worst. 

Then there’s a diversion and you know you have been cursed! 

 Finally you get there at the appointed hour

And find that there is nowhere for you to park the car!

Feeling very guilty you reach the waiting room

And wait for forty minutes because that is your doom!

Not because you’ve missed your slot. It is your cruel fate,

That appointments in the clinic are running very late!

Flight of the Heron 

While going round the lake today we saw a wondrous sight 

A heron, not just walking, but in extended flight! 

Majestic wings were flapping and tail feathers spread

Great long neck tucked under to protect its head.

It may seem quite ungainly but it has some beauty too

With your legs and neck so long, what else can you do?

It’s seldom that you see them fly more than twenty feet

Then their neck’s extended and they look quite neat.

They are of course a wading bird designed to walk around

Moving slowly or quite still they do not make a sound.

I have watched them walking, stalking slowly, then they strike

The grace then of their movements is almost ballet like!

I love the sights of nature with its variations.

And to save this heritage we all have obligations!

Appreciation  When I see the red kite as it circles up above Or I hear the coo-ing of a gentle little dove. When I see the swans glide gracefully along Or hear the gentle melody of the thrush’s song When I see the heron as it struts its way about Or I hear the blaring of a black crow’s raucous shout. When I see the ripples on the surface of a lake Or smell the tender blossoms in every breath I take. When I feel adventure in doing something strange Or I see the splendour of a mighty mountain range. When I stare in wonder at a rainbow in the sky Or lie in sunny pastures as the fluffy clouds go by. I marvel at the beauty and variety I see And thank my God for making it and giving it to me!

Computers

I just love computers they are a special treat.

I can do most anything while sitting in my seat!

Combined with the internet I have at my command

All the information that any could demand!

My handwriting is so bad that it can not be read

Thank goodness I can use word processors instead!

When I first beheld them they were both vast and slow

With punch carded programs that never seemed to go!

Now within your palm they sit as neat as anything

And you can do computing or give your kids a ring!

And like science fiction you make a video call

And in conversations you can see and hear it all!

I just hate computers they’re always going wrong

And the world can spy on me as I go along!

The internet ain’t working when you want it to.

You’ve forgotten what you want when it lets you through!

You will not have a signal when you’re most in need

And the people selling them are only driven by greed!

People walk like zombies addicted to their phones

And they might as well be a bunch of crazy clones!

Now the trend has been reversed. Phones are getting big!

It won’t fit in your pocket, the latest thingummyjig!

I don’t understand the things the kids all take for granted

But they are all depending on the little seeds we planted!