Cricket The Noble Game

I thought I'd play the noble game up until I dropped.

Then in twenty seventeen my enjoyment stopped!

I could no longer cope with the standard I could play

So with great reluctance I called it a day.

I could no longer hit a six as I was wont to do

I could hardly hit it hard enough to run for one or two!

When I bowled a batsman I had a major doubt,

Would the ball dislodge the bails so that he was out?

I used to bowl an opening spell, though I was never quick!

I would bowl off cutters which made the batsman sick!

Ah well! I had had my time, 'twas time to leave the stage

I should leave with no regrets, not get into a rage!

I had had a great career for many many years

A cause for celebration. No need for any tears!

I had scored two centuries in swashbuckling mode

And lots of other fifties as I went along the road.

I didn't please the purists for I played across the line

But as I just liked scoring runs it suited me just fine!

I also took six hat tricks as I went on my way

And nine wickets in one innings, but I am sad to say,

I ran the other fellow out before a wicket fell!

Still it gives a hard luck story that I am pleased to tell!

I got great enjoyment in the years I played the game

And I hope the kids I taught will always do the same.

Wimp

I am pretty hopeless when speaking with tradesmen

And I'm sure that I've been conned every now and then.

When I start I'm sure I know precisely what I need

But somehow I lose certainty as the talks proceed!

Of course I knew exactly what I wanted done

But this is where confusion really has begun.

I am being talked to as an ignoramus,

With my gullibility, which it seems is famous!

When the talking's finished I am so confused

I cannot be certain if my trust has been abused.

Ah well! No one's perfect as I'm sure you would agree

But aren't you glad that you are not a gormless wimp like me!

Lazybones

I am very lazy. I have been all my life

And, if you don't believe me, go and ask my wife!

I can be quite energetic for things I want to do

But if it doesn't interest me I'll leave it just for you.

At school and university I didn't want to study

My interest was in rugby and getting pretty muddy!

In summer I could bowl all day getting many a wicket

For I had great intensity when I was playing cricket.

But invite me to do gardening or even cut the lawn

And I would lie there reading and give a sleepy yawn!

I loved to play with bits of wood making useful shelves

But as for decorating I would leave it for the elves!

I stride around a golf course for miles and miles on end

But ask me to go for a walk and you are not my friend.

I walk around at racquet sports which I quite enjoy

But when I am required to run, I am a lazy boy!

When I want to do something I'm eager to be gone

But if I am not bothered my delaying switch is on!

I need to do the housework but I really put it off

But as you know you're like me you really shouldn't scoff!

I really must try harder to get out of my chair

But there is such comfort for me sitting there!

It's just as well I'm charming and have such savoir faire

Or to be so lazy I really could not dare!

Sorry darling, yes darling, at once darling. Anything you say darling!

Me lazy? Of course not!