The Defender

On our walk this morning we saw a warming sight,

A mother goose defending gave a dog a fright!

The Bean Goose family were sitting on the shore

When a little doggie decided to explore.

When he came too close to them the mother interposed

She would never suffer her family exposed.

She flapped her wings and, very loudly hissed

And gave the impression that she was really pissed!

The dog could only whimper and beat a fast retreat. 

Better leave the kitchen if you can’t take the heat!

The gander with their goslings slipped into the lake

The goose standing guard behind was surely no mistake!

Then she swiftly followed and joined the family

A tight knit loving unit as anyone can see!

If you attack the children a mum will intervene

In animals and humans a sight that’s always seen!

Earth and Nature

I am God’s creation,

The beauty that you see.

The land of every nation 

All belongs to me!

The mountains in their grandeur,

Every shining lake

The tall trees in their splendour,

Every one I make.

The beauty of each blossom,

Every glowing flower,

The rabbit and the possum 

All made with my power!

Man I have made to wonder,

To take this beauty in.

But when I look o’er yonder 

Where can I begin?

Please don’t destroy my beauty

For your own selfish need.

To cherish is your duty

But for power and greed

You devastate my landscapes.

My garden is laid waste.

You build things in your own shapes.

In the worst of taste!

Please preserve my picture

Before it is too late.

Hear my earnest stricture 

Or live in horrid state!

The Hole in One

Golf is such a silly game, it sends you round the twist

Thinking of the drives you duffed and the putts you missed!

Struggling in the bunkers and hacking in the rough

Sometimes we make this simple game seem extremely tough.

Iain was having such a game when we played today.

Even on the first tee he couldn’t drive away.

He fell so far behind us he could not be seen

Hitting several air shots and missing on the green.

He was so despondent he might have been excused

For any bleeps and asterisks in the language that he used.

Thus it was a sorry boy who climbed unto the tee

To play unto the eighth green betwixt young Mick and me.

There was the nervous waggle of the eight iron in his hand

As he viewed the flagstick just beyond the sand!

More in hope and desperation than any great belief

He swung the club quite freely and then, to his relief

The ball flew in a graceful arc the way he had intended

It seemed to us who watched it that time had been suspended!

Up, and up, and up, it went in the clear blue sky

Till it’s zenith had been reached, then falling by and by.

It travelled through the ether as if under Iain’s control,

Bounced just once upon the green and vanished down the hole! 

There was much rejoicing before the day was done

Iain is the very first of us to have a hole in one!

None of us begrudge him the glory he has earned

For surely there is something. a lesson we have learned.

No matter how you’re playing it is understood

When you least expect it there may be something good!

Beacon?

Though I am a Christian, can anybody tell?

As a prime example am I doing well?

Do I befriend others and help to share their load?

Am I there to cheer them on their weary road?

Am I always cheerful, helpful good and kind?

Do I have that peacefulness, serenity of mind?

Do I share Christ’s message with everyone I meet?

Do I share my hope in life with strangers on the street?

Ok, I share my poems, the gift that I’ve been given.

But is that enough to show that I’ve been shriven?

I should be like a beacon attracting those around 

But as an evangelist I scarcely make a sound.

Luckily my destiny does not rely on me

And not on the good actions that everyone can see.

My Saviour died and rose again to save me from my sin

And I am forgiven for the state I’m in!

Social Distancing

Walking round the pathways or in a superstore 

There are distance rules that cretins just ignore!

In this time of lockdown we owe it to each other

Not to pass infections to our sister or our brother.

Those that just ignore the rules haven’t got a brain

And we just find them to be a bloody pain.

They will not apologise, when they past you squeeze. 

They see it as their right to do just as they please.

There’s no way to alter them, for they do not care.

Do not try to challenge them for they will only swear!

You really ought to pity them. They don’t know any better!

They do not know their ABCs or any other letter!

Their parents never taught them what they ought to do.

There was no loving discipline, as applied to you!

You really ought to pray for them and get out of their way 

They will never alter no matter what you say!

Trump Limerick

I don’t want to write about Trump 

For, in truth, he speaks like a chump!

Stands tall in his shoes 

And calls it fake news

And with everyone he takes the hump!

Helpline I tried to phone a helpline  Cos I had a query! I thought that it would be just fine  But ended up quite weary! First I  get a voice that says That now they are quite busy. There are also WiFi ways (Enough to make me dizzy)! Then they give me options  None of which apply Then I await instructions, They’ll answer by and by! Then I  get the ring tone,  At last I’m getting through! A few short rings upon the phone Which changes to NU!!! So then I try the internet (Which I have done before) And still cannot even get An answer any more! All the options given Don’t deal with my case For all that I have striven I have lost the race! They have reached their objective! I have had enough For, from their own perspective,  They don’t give a stuff! ReplyForward

Lockdown Limericks

There was an old man in Lockdown 

You would think it a reason to frown

But with beautiful walks

And uplifting talks

In mis’ry he ain’t going to drown!

If you can’t have a laugh every day

They might as well put you away 

So laugh from your belly

And wobble like jelly

For with laughter you just have to play!

Gardening

The garden is a job that never ends!

We like to show it perfect to our friends.

To some it is love’s labour. To others it’s a bind.

It’s pleasure they perceive is hard to find!

Yes, they see it’s beauty flash upon the eye

But with all that work they wonder why.

They can always look at nature’s beauty

You get the same pleasure with no duty!

Gardeners look at them with some disdain

Such attitudes just go against the grain!

Non-gardeners say, on the other hand,

Such dedication they don’t understand!

“Let’s agree to differ”, they may say

But surely they will never get their way!

There are little jobs that they can do

Though surely they will always grumble too!

“Yes my love, whatever you require. 

For you know your wish is my desire!”

Crown Repairs

Of course my crown has fallen out 

When dentists can’t respond

It’s enough to make me shout 

Or wave a magic wand!

I have a gap in my front teeth

For all the world to see

My lips I’d keep it underneath 

But that just isn’t me!

Could I keep my mouth shut?

Now then, don’t be silly!

Sensible it might be but

I must talk willy-nilly!

We have a repair kit

So Sue did the repair.

It seemed to be a good fit

So no need to despair!

Then I tried to eat again 

I took a gentle bite 

Although it really is a pain

It was not quite right!

The ruddy crown first wobbled

And then came out once more!

I hadn’t even gobbled

So I nearly swore!

We bought some more adhesive 

And had another go

Though certainty’s elusive 

I must let you know.

So far so good!

It hasn’t budged.

As long as it is understood.

Too early to be judged!

Picture Framing

I knocked a picture off the wall.

The frame was damaged in the fall!

Two of its corners came apart

That was when the problems start!

The joints are forty-five degrees

How to clamp them ain’t a breeze!

Of course the glue we have is old.

Goodness knows when it was sold!

I had to squeeze with all my force

And it trickled out of course.

An instant bond it’s meant to be

And I had Susan helping me.

We each pressed a joint in place.

The force we used showed in our face!

Instant bond! You must be kidding!

At least it didn’t at our bidding!

We threw that glue straight in the bin

And you can guess the mood I’m in!

Then we tried another glue

And we hope that it will do!

We’ll leave it for a little while 

So it can set in proper style.

If it doesn’t I must tell

The frame goes in the bin as well!

Dancing

Sue has got me dancing at my tender age,

Though I had avoided it when it was all the rage!

All at once I’m leading the waltz and tango through,

Also rock n roll, the shake and quickstep too!

Walking on the pathways gave me the incentive 

Avoiding social contact the moves can be preventive!

We are “waltzing” left and right avoiding other folk.

Though with some of them you have a laugh and joke!

The “rock n roll” is handy when joggers pass on by

They seldom leave the path, though we don’t know why?

The “quickstep” is essential when the bikes are on your tail!

There would be catastrophe if your step should fail!

It’s enough to make you “shake” with terror as you walk

You can never, ever stop to have a friendly talk!

A “tango” drink’s essential when you reach your home

After all this dancing as we walk and talk and roam!

Bluebells in the Wood 

Watching all the rain today I’m in a happy mood, 

For I can see, within my mind, the bluebells in the Wood.

We had a walk in sunlight just a mile or two,

Walking slowly hand in hand as all lovers do!

Just cos we’ve been married for over forty years,

There is no need to mock us and you can save your jeers!

The walk was very pleasant with a gentle breeze

We could bask in bonhomie and wander at our ease.

We got to Howe Park Wood at last and rambled all about

And then the sight that met us nearly made us shout!

There beneath the canopy a carpet coloured blue 

Shining in the dappled light as only bluebells do!

Shimmering bluish purple in the woodland scene 

Was a sight to match the best that I have ever seen!

Bluebells in the sunlight on this April day

Fill my soul with beauty and drive despair away.

Lazybones

I am feeling happy sitting in a chair

And my lazy body ain’t going anywhere.

Until I’ve had my coffee I can’t really be awake!

If I have to make it, ‘twill be a big mistake!

That would mean I have to move and I am so lazy

That the sudden effort might just drive me crazy.

Where then is my servant to fulfil my desire?

I might have to sack them or suspend their hire!

Ok, this is my fantasy. I haven’t got a slave!

I could ask my wife to, but I am not that brave.

“Yes my love, I’ll make it any time you ask!”

After all I’ve got to say it is a husband’s task! 

There goes my lazy dreamland. I am back on earth

Trying to show my partner that I have some worth!

Isolation

Being in isolation isn’t all that bad

Think of all the wine and beer that you’ve already had!

All the jobs you’ve been avoiding suddenly get done

And you can take to gardening in the blazing sun.

You may not see your friends but you can keep in touch,

Spending time on Facebook doesn’t cost you much!

You have used no petrol nor visited the pub

Think of all the pennies that you’ve saved to rub!

Count your many blessings. Count them if you will.

All of the advantages of just sitting still!!!

Patience 

Listening is not my greatest feature, 

My restless nature thinks of other things.

I am not a very patient creature 

And won’t be till I have an angels wings!

I try to curb my ever restless spirit 

For patience is a trait I long to know,

But every time that I’ve begun to crack it

My nature says it’s coming far too slow!

When I have decided to do something, 

I always want to do it right away

And if I’m held upon a holding curb string

I then flounce off and have no will to play!

Oh Lord give me patience as a virtue. 

Though You’ll do it, I can not know how?

I will not stand here feeling like a statue.

I cannot wait so give it to me now!

List

Ok I am a lazy pup, 

I have been all my life!

Should I do the washing up?

After all I have a wife!

I can write my little odes 

And play with my computer 

Watch my favourite episodes 

For I am much astuter!

And if you can believe this rot

Isolation’s got your brain

Drudgery is my current lot!

Sue’s got her list again!

What to do Shall I get up or stay in bed? It’s nice to have the choice! No conscience running round my head. No mental nagging voice! I can lie and plan my day And get up when I please. No matter what the world may say I can just take my ease. The clock can really hold no sway I can just lie and doze. Or on my IPad I can play. That’s what I propose! What’s that? I must get up! You want to wash the bedding? I am not a lazy pup! I now know where I’m heading! My wife has got a list of jobs Which I have to do The answer to us lazy sods, Is have a wife like Sue! ReplyForward

Memories 

When you’re fed up, let me know

Or tell me just where I should go!

Meantime I shall have some fun

And take the Michael from everyone!

Think about when you could travel

Before you saw the world unravel.

You’ve had good times on lots of trips 

On airplanes and maybe even ships.

You’ve gone to beaches and to lakes

But sometimes you have made mistakes!

Not all the trips went as you planned

And why you couldn’t understand!

You wished that you had stayed at home

And hadn’t started out to roam.

Well now you’ve got what you desired

So with lockdown don’t get tired!

Carry on Odeing

Go on! Your loyal public needs another ode

They need to have a giggle in this virus episode!

Lockdown can be boring when you’re on your own 

Even with one other it can be a cause to moan!

Petty things can aggravate when you’re feeling low

Or when partner’s helping hand is offered far too slow!

One has a list of jobs to do the other wants to rest

For a person’s patience it is a grievous test!

“Yes love, in a minute”! Is not the thing to say.

Wives have got the wherewithal to really make you pay!

Ah well! It ain’t for ever, or so we’d like to think,

For, before we know it, t’will be over in a blink!

So let’s just keep our spirits up. Have a laugh and joke

And if hubby’s sleeping give the twit a poke!

No odes to write

I don’t know what I’m doing 

I have no odes to write.

I’m sitting here and stewing

A most frustrated sight!

I know what I’ll do now!

I’ll just sit here and wait 

And write about a brown cow

Going through a gate!

I know it is a waste of time

But what am I to do

My poor old brain is full of rhyme

As I sit here and stew!

Captain Tom More

You’ve walked into our memories with your famous walk.

In every broadcast news your stroll is all the talk.

We could see the effort which you had to make

And the determination that you had to take.

You reached your walking target in the time you set

You had no idea how many donations you would get!

You’ve now had your birthday. Your century you’ve made

And your proud achievements cannot be gainsaid!

As, for such an effort, you we’ve got to thank. 

Now you’ve got promotion to a Colonel’s rank!

Well done faithful warrior you have our love and praise 

I hope you’re left in peace for your remaining days!

Bluebells in the Wood 

Watching all the rain today I’m in a happy mood, 

For I can see, within my mind, the bluebells in the Wood.

We had a walk in sunlight just a mile or two,

Walking slowly hand in hand as all lovers do!

Just cos we’ve been married for over forty years,

There is no need to mock us and you can save your jeers!

The walk was very pleasant with a gentle breeze

We could bask in bonhomie and wander at our ease.

We got to Howe Park Wood at last and rambled all about

And then the sight that met us nearly made us shout!

There beneath the canopy a carpet coloured blue 

Shining in the dappled light as only bluebells do!

Shimmering bluish purple in the woodland scene 

Was a sight to match the best that I have ever seen!

Bluebells in the sunlight on this April day

Fill my soul with beauty and drive despair away.

Remember  Remember the last supper Christ had with his friends  Where he washed their feet and the message that it sends? Serving one another is what we ought to do. Whatever your position this message is for you! You may be rich and powerful, or even lead a church. Serve for those beneath you. Not leave them in the lurch. Christ also shared the bread with them and a cup of wine. Saying for the future, “This flesh and blood is mine. I will be betrayed and killed to save you from your sin And you should believe in me throughout thick and thin. For I will return again to serve you evermore Though maybe not within the guise that you’ve seen before. When I have gone to heaven at last, you shall remember me And how I died for all mankind hanging on a tree. When you partake of bread and wine in the future years Remember that I live again. I don’t want any tears! Share this precious moment with all who will believe It is a celebration with no real cause to grieve.” It was not till afterwards that they understood  That our Lord was dying for the greater good. So thank our God for Jesus and His sacrifice, Though it wasn’t pretty and certainly not nice, He died and rose again that we might be free. Forgiveness and eternal life are there for you and me! ReplyForward